Why Conciliation is better than Retaliation

In any life and in any relationship there are bound to be times when a disagreement arises. It’s just a fact and the faster a person learns how to deal with this fact the better, more peaceful and less stressful life that they’re going to have. It also is accepted among specialists that it is better to conciliate (forgive, make peace with, resolve the problem) than it is to retaliate (strike back, get revenge) when you’ve had a fight, disagreement or argument with someone, no matter who that person is. The reasons for this are several and are discussed below.

First, if you’re a religious person you probably already know that Christianity, Catholicism and most of the major religions say that ‘to forgive is divine’. What this means is that a person who is able to forgive someone, even if they have done them wrong, is a better person for it. In fact most experts will tell you that they believe forgiveness to be transformative. In other words, forgiving someone can turn you into a better person.

Now let’s forget that for a moment and look at what most arguments, fights and disagreements entail, which is a difference of opinion. If you have a fight with someone because of a difference of opinion, and that person happens to be either a family member or someone you work with (both types of people that are important in your everyday life) it really behooves you to resolve the problem peacefully and thoroughly rather than to try and do something back to the person because you feel slighted. In fact any type of ‘revenge’ in this situation will probably just make matters worse and in some cases much worse. Sometimes, as the saying goes, it’s better to agree not to agree than to try and strike back.

Retaliation, relatively speaking, is much easier than forgiveness. It’s a way to ‘unload’ your pain but it usually doesn’t make you feel better and most of the time makes any problems worse. Conciliation, on the other hand, is harder but much more valuable and can make any relationship stronger. In the end, it just makes more sense to ‘make up’ than to ‘get back’ at someone.

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